THIS ENTIRE POST IS A LIE. GET OVER IT!

I admire the Republicans. The way they stare down the truth about Donald J. Trump in order to rise to his well-deserved defense. Never have I admired a group more for their honesty, sincerity and highly admirable blind loyalty. 

“It doesn’t matter if our Congressmen
and Senators tell lies,” said Pinocchio.
“There are as many reasons to ignore Trump’s transgressions as there are to impeach America’s best and most mistreated President.”

How could anyone in their right mind, not admire the way the Republicans threw caution to the wind and their reelections to fate by defending Donald Trump against the interests and purview of the United States Constitution? Their bravery and staunch resolution amidst a damning flood of news reports and credible testimony is unparalleled in the annals of misdirected blind loyalty. Especially in light of how much that testimony undermines Trump’s discredited defense and their quickly vanishing integrity. 

Good show, guys! America will never forget your service and sacrifice.

Yesterday, about twenty of the Republicans I admire most signaled their frustration over the impossible task of defending the President by bursting en masse into a closed-door meeting of the House Intelligence Committee. For me, it matters not that these Republicans have no logical or reasonable defense of Trump’s crimes; just like them, I’m outraged that Adam Schiff’s Intelligence Committee would interrogate witnesses behind closed doors and allow a clear story of Trump’s transgressions to emerge. 

My favorite Republicans always tell the truth!

Lastly, why would we lose any sleep over the security of Ukraine, or its people? Or the dubious fate of those pesky Kurds? Why should I care if Russia or Turkey invades or kills off these troublesome sects and shithole countries? The Kurds may have been Obama’s allies, but they’re not mine. 

As you can tell from my words, I will support Trump and continue to kiss his ass and his ring no matter how many people he shoots on Fifth Avenue.

They’d probably be Kurds, anyway.