Tag Archives: Lindsey Graham

REPUBLICAN SENATOR PROMOTES VOTING RIGHTS FOR FETUSES

WASHINGTON, DC. Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (R-S.C.) explains his bill to extend voting rights to fetuses.

WASHINGTON, D.C. Just when you thought Republican politics could get no wackier, along comes Lindsey Graham, Senior Clown of the Republican Senate caucus and Supremo Ass-Kisser to Donald Trump’s nether regions. 

Senator Graham first offered a bill yesterday proposing a nationwide abortion ban that stunned political pundits in its gross insensitivity to the political winds currently sweeping across the nation. Senator Graham refused to blink at the uproar his proposed bill inspired, doubling-down instead with a follow-up bill calling for fetuses not only to be considered human beings at the moment of conception, but to be granted all rights of citizenship, including the right to vote, marry and pay taxes. 

“I know there are certain difficult issues my bill raises,” Senator Graham admitted, “like the age most states require for anyone to vote or get a marriage license. But I’m confident that reasonable politicians working hand in glove with ex-President Trump and the Supreme Court, can find solutions to even the most difficult and illogical problems.”

When asked what he would do if his new bills failed to gain enough support to be presented before Congress, Senator Graham indicated he had one more arrow in his anti-abortion quiver.

“It’s a bill to declare that Life begins at the first moment of desire, or sexual stimulation, on the part of any potential parent.” 

Graham went on to explain, “It means essentially that life begins with the first tingle.”

Republicans Struck Blind By Sudden Exposure To The Truth.

Six Republicans on their way
to a strategy meeting at Fox News.

Something unusual happened last week, and continues to afflict a majority of the nation’s Republican office-holders. I am not speaking about the release of notes from Donald Trump’s July 25th phone conversation with Ukraine’s president. Nor am I referencing the release of the whistleblower’s report the very next day.

“Thank you, Godfather.”

Quite simply—and defying any logical explanation—the mass of Republicans in Washington has been struck blind, all at once, all seemingly by the same toxic agent, namely The Truth. After releasing phone transcript notes that, in concert with the whistleblower’s complaint, show incontrovertibly that President Volodymyr Zelensky was given an offer he could not refuse. Not if he wished his small sovereign nation to survive.

The offer: find me dirt on Joe Biden or risk losing all military aid voted by Congress. Nearly $400 million crucial to Ukraine’s survival. Aid that was absolutely critical to their defense against ongoing Russian aggression.

(At this point in our post, one can almost hear the haunting musical strains from “The Godfather” soundtrack playing in the background.)

Not since “Day of the Triffids,” a sci-fi movie in which the entire planet’s population was struck blind, has widespread blindness struck with such surprising ferocity. And for those Republicans not blinded by the sudden revelations of this past week, there arose a mass inability to comprehend or evaluate obvious criminal acts or statements made by President Trump.

Typical Russian defender of Donald Trump (not the dog).

The Republican Blindness and Feigned Stupidity Syndrome appears to render Republicans incapable of defending anything of real value—the Constitution, their fellow lawmakers, government institutions, America’s elections, National Security, honest whistleblowers, Muslims, Mexicans, members of the intelligence community, institutional civility, or anyone cruelly attacked by an infantile president.

An infantile president, it should be mentioned, whose ego is so large the Ukraine would sit in its shadow. 

Which is just another way of describing exactly what happened last week.