Tag Archives: impeachment

TRUMP SENDS OUT FOR CHINESE.

“Hello, Xi Jinping’s Chinese Garden. Order for pick up or delivery, please?”

“Delivery.”

“And what is name?”

“And what is name?”

“Donald The President.”

“Donald The President? President of what?”

“Of the United States, you moron! What are you, a Fake News reporter? I’ll tell you when to ask questions. And when you have a question, I want you to raise your hand.” 

“Raise hand? On phone? Why?”

“Again with the questions! Why does everyone want to question me? I guess there’s nobody else worth questioning. That’s because I give great answers. Best answers anywhere. Everyone says so.”

“Are you ready to order, Mr. President?”

“Yes, I’m ordering from your take out menu. (calling to someone in the room) Rudy, Mike, Billy…what do you guys want? (murmurs rise in the distance) Really? (into the phone) Are you ready?”

“Fire away!”

“Just remember, if you take notes of this call, you have to burn them when we’re through.”

“Sure, always burn notes. Only way Chinese Communist restaurant stay in business. What is order, please?”

“First, we want three orders of Shit-on-Biden, extra spicy.”

“Large size or small?”

“Super-size! Can I get those with photos?”

Shit-on-Biden, extra spicy.

“Three order, Shit-on-Biden with photos! You want photos showing Biden fooling around with Chinese women, maybe, or mongrel dogs? Perfect for casual slander or dedicated destruction of reputation. Today’s special: fake photos of Joe Biden naked or in underwear?”

“What kind of underwear?”

Looking good, Joe!

“Tighty-whitey.”

“We’ll take a dozen of both.  Can I get poster sized blow-ups?”

“Of course. Is very popular item on menu.” 

“You know, I just realized something, Xi. This a beautiful phone call. Don’t you think? Simply beautiful. If Lindsey Graham were here kissing my derriere, he’d damn well agree.”

(silence)

“Next I’d like three orders of Sweet-and-Sour-Bullshit; the kind despots order when they’re winning a trade war.”

“Three order Sweet-and-Sour-Bullshit. With or without beansprouts?”

“Beansprouts? I don’t give a shit about beansprouts. Are you making a joke?”

“Beansprouts! I don’t give a shit about beansprouts.”

“No, no. Sorry, no joke. Also, no beansprouts.”

“Okay, now this is important, I want you to send the bill for our order to the Department of the Treasury, attention Stevie M.”

“Department of Treasury?”

“Did you just ask another question?” 

“Sorry, you not see, I first raise hand.” 

“You sure you’re not working with Crooked Hillary or her skirt-chasing husband? Or perhaps Adam Schiff is wire-tapping this phone call…?”

“Xi Jinping have one more question, Mr. President.”

“I can tell your hand is raised, so ask away.”

“What happen if Treasury Department refuse pay bill?” 

Then send it to Present Zelensky in Kiev. I believe that’s located in Ukraine. If it hasn’t already been moved to Russia.”

“Zelensky is also President?”

President of a shithole country.

“Yeah, but of a shithole country.”

But what if Zelensky tell me ‘no,’ just like Treasury Department?”

“If Zelensky says no, tell him I’ll be sending him those Javelin missiles he asked for. And very soon!

“Oh, and don’t forget the fortune cookies.”

From Donald With Love.

Republicans Struck Blind By Sudden Exposure To The Truth.

Six Republicans on their way
to a strategy meeting at Fox News.

Something unusual happened last week, and continues to afflict a majority of the nation’s Republican office-holders. I am not speaking about the release of notes from Donald Trump’s July 25th phone conversation with Ukraine’s president. Nor am I referencing the release of the whistleblower’s report the very next day.

“Thank you, Godfather.”

Quite simply—and defying any logical explanation—the mass of Republicans in Washington has been struck blind, all at once, all seemingly by the same toxic agent, namely The Truth. After releasing phone transcript notes that, in concert with the whistleblower’s complaint, show incontrovertibly that President Volodymyr Zelensky was given an offer he could not refuse. Not if he wished his small sovereign nation to survive.

The offer: find me dirt on Joe Biden or risk losing all military aid voted by Congress. Nearly $400 million crucial to Ukraine’s survival. Aid that was absolutely critical to their defense against ongoing Russian aggression.

(At this point in our post, one can almost hear the haunting musical strains from “The Godfather” soundtrack playing in the background.)

Not since “Day of the Triffids,” a sci-fi movie in which the entire planet’s population was struck blind, has widespread blindness struck with such surprising ferocity. And for those Republicans not blinded by the sudden revelations of this past week, there arose a mass inability to comprehend or evaluate obvious criminal acts or statements made by President Trump.

Typical Russian defender of Donald Trump (not the dog).

The Republican Blindness and Feigned Stupidity Syndrome appears to render Republicans incapable of defending anything of real value—the Constitution, their fellow lawmakers, government institutions, America’s elections, National Security, honest whistleblowers, Muslims, Mexicans, members of the intelligence community, institutional civility, or anyone cruelly attacked by an infantile president.

An infantile president, it should be mentioned, whose ego is so large the Ukraine would sit in its shadow. 

Which is just another way of describing exactly what happened last week. 

The Liberation of Washington, D.C.

The first sign of the impending liberation came from deep within the bowels of the American Intelligence Community. A whistleblower last August fired off a salvo that will echo till the day of liberation itself when Donald J. Trump, 45th (so-called) President of the United States will board his plane and fly away, never to be seen or heard from again in the nation’s capital. And never again to betray his office and country under the pretense of tending to presidential duties.

The pre-liberation barrage of artillery fire erupted suddenly in the quiet of a sleepy Washington morning. The Hero Of The Day, the Inspector General of the Intelligence Community, sent word to Congress that a whistleblower complaint judged to be of “urgent concern” by the IG, and verified as “credible” in a limited investigation, had been released to the Director of National Intelligence (as the Whistleblower Act requires) but after its release had apparently dropped off the face of the earth. 

An orange suit in The Donald’s future?

Meanwhile, the Director of National Intelligence, Andrew McGuire, a retired Navy Seal, barely settled and just days into his temporary appointment as DNI, found himself confronting a monumental and seemingly unprecedented dilemma. The nation’s Whistleblower Act required him to forward all whistleblower complaints to Congress within 7 days. However, seeing that the president was the focus of the complaint, McGuire was concerned about violating Executive Privilege and chose to forward it first to the Office of Legal Counsel within the Justice Department. In that moment, inside a Justice Department tightly controlled by William Barr, Trump’s Attorney General, the complaint disappeared as if it had never existed.

 Until…

Adam Schiff, Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, and his Senate counterpart, Richard Burr, received word of the errant whistleblower’s complaint from the Intelligence IG and all hell broke loose. Suddenly The New York Times and Washington Post began firing news reports in all directions, and it soon became clear that somewhere in the bowels of the Executive Branch there was a bombshell whistleblower complaint and it most likely involved the President himself and his ‘questionable’ pursuit of dirt to bury political rival, Joe Biden. 

Founding members of The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight.

‘Questionable’ because he and his chief henchman, Rudy Giuliani, chose to dig for that dirt in the cold climate of the Ukraine, where they worked a tag team strategy to force Volodymyr Zelensky, the Ukraine’s newly elected president, to dig up or manufacture political dirt on Joe Biden. As leverage, The Donald held up payments of congressionally authorized military aid for the Ukraine until Zelensky showed he was willing “to play ball” as the president required.

As so often happens in battle, there were scattered and isolated confrontations and bursts of leaked information. Information so damaging in its reconstruction in news reports that the President had little choice but to release notes detailing his July 25th phone conversation with the Ukraine’s president. Everyone in Washington expected the notes would reveal little or nothing about the shakedown of an ally whose very existence depended on the military aid President Trump had ordered suspended.

Everyone was wrong.

What me worry?

It is not known yet why the forces surrounding and protecting the president chose to release phone call notes as damaging as the ones released to Congress. Notes that mentioned William Barr’s involvement as well as Rudy Giuliani’s. Was this another example of Deep State sabotage? Or just the panicked behavior of villains caught in the act, scattering in panic like cockroaches in the kitchen when the light comes on?

Reality Check: the authorized military aid was intended to assist the Ukraine in fighting off Russian incursions or possible invasion, a real threat since Russian irregulars were still wreaking havoc in the Ukraine’s Eastern territory.

“Thank you, Godfather.”

Yes, assemble the known details and you will quickly realize two shocking facts. First, that Trump’s actions in weakening Zelensky only strengthened Putin’s hand in his quest for conquest, an interesting outcome in light of all the questions about Trump being Putin’s lap dog. And second, Trump was actually willing to put an entire country—almost 44 million people— at risk to pursue his own political purposes! 

Even if they were in opposition to America’s National Security concerns!

It’s safe to say the liberation of Washington D.C. has definitely and irreversibly begun. It commenced when the Democrats won a majority of seats in the House in 2018, thereby ending Republican domination of all branches of government. And it continues as the gears of impeachment are set free to fully digest and act upon all the leads offered by the whistleblower’s complaint.

And leads there are aplenty!

Beginning with the highly classified server on which White House lawyers entombed the highly incriminating transcript of the July 25th phone call. A server on which, the complaint suggests, Trump’s White House staff had hid other damaging and disturbing evidence of Trump’s…what…? His felonies, his deals, his cons, his shakedowns…?

“Don’t look at the man behind the curtain!

Time will tell. And as we wait for the story to unwind, as it happily will, and as The Donald freaks out and lashes out in blind fury, the smell of liberation is in the air. If you lift your nose high above the stench of corruption, dishonesty and flagrant abuse of power, you can smell it. 

And just beyond, another scent…the liberation of America!

The Question That Will Impeach The Donald*#

Excerpted from “The Tragic Comedy of TRUMPTY DUMPTY, A Play By William Shakespeare (channeled by Paul Steven Stone)

“If only they hadn’t asked the question!”

The Biggest Q of All

Out to bag a big one!

“And then, the biggest question of all: “Were you put in office by Vladimir Putin…to break up NATO…to create instability and chaos…to undermine our military…to construct a burden of debt Amerikka will never escape…to bring Russia back into the G8…to foment trade instability… to sow dissension with our neighbors and allies…to provoke divisions within our own people…to destroy the fabric of Amerikkan society by playing to its worst tendencies…and to leave Amerikka isolated on the world stage?”

*From “The Tragic Comedy of Trumpty Dumpty,” a play written by William Shakespeare (channeled by Paul Steven Stone) and presented as an Over-The-Cliff-Notes version of a recently discovered Shakespearean play. You can find it at: http://paulstonesthrow.com/the-tragic-comedy-of-trumpty-dumpty/

#Meant by the author to remind a too-forgetful public that Donald J. Trump, the man we call our president, enlisted the aid of Vladimir Putin to win his office.

TRUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL*+

“Yep, it’s me again!”

The idea was to destroy all fruit from the poisoned tree.

The title of the House bill was “The Russian Reversal Act,” and it attempted as best as possible to eradicate any trace of Putin’s Puppy, as Donald Trump came to be known, from Amerikkan government or political life. Not surprisingly, it wasn’t filed until after the _ _’20 election when Donald Trump—on the ballot but already impeached—Mike Pence, Mitch McConnell and the Senate Repugnant majority were thrown out and replaced by Dumbercrats. The bill declared every Trump executive order automatically countermanded, every fired government employee automatically given a fresh job interview, and, most importantly, judges appointed by Trump NO MATTER WHAT LEVEL were temporarily suspended while undergoing a review process detailed in the bill, a provision vociferously condemned by a highly excited Judge Kavanaugh. 

“Oops!”

Most importantly, the bill declared the election of Donald J. Trump to be null and void, and stipulated that on documents, signs and placques where he is listed as Amerikka’s 45thChief Potentate, the number 45 will be crossed out and replaced with an asterisk (*) which links to a footnote at the bottom that reads “Donald J. Trump was proven to be a fraud.” 

Those were Shakespeare’s last words on the matter. 

Except of course for this…

Trumpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Trumpty Dumpty had a big fall.

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men

Couldn’t put Trumpty back in power again.

*From The final act of Trumpty Dumpty, a play written by William Shakespeare (channeled by Paul Steven Stone) and presented as an Over-The-Cliff-Notes version of a recently discovered Shakespearean play. You can find it at: http://paulstonesthrow.com/the-tragic-comedy-of-trumpty-dumpty/

+Meant by the author to call, in the post impeachment era—for a dismantling of anything—any bill, appointment or executive order—considered Trump/Putin-tinged.