Tag Archives: Donald J. Trump


“Let’s Make Them An Offer They Can’t Refuse.”

A Primer For Snatching Victory From The Jaws Of Defeat

Hello, Mr. President:

This primer was left for you by Roy Cohn, your mentor and early life consigliore who, almost single-handily, was responsible for America’s internal chaos and self-destruction under McCarthyism. 

Trump and mentor

Mr. Cohn, in his immortal wisdom, has left you six rules to follow as you pursue success in life, or when you attempt to win—even after losing!—a second term as President of the United States.

Rule Number 1 has three parts: Cheat, Cheat and Cheat Yet Again. Not just cheating your opponents, Roy advises, but friends, family, employees, vendors and virtually anyone dumb enough to trust you or take what you say on faith. 

If you are pursuing a billionaire’s career in real estate, always cheat on the square footage you are selling or buying. If selling, add a 10% increase to the square footage. If buying, protest that you’re being cheated by a 10% overcharge on the footage. Either way no one will usually bother to check. 

Rule number 1 applies in any field you can think of. But if you’re attempting to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat in a political race, your prescribed behavior is almost childishly obvious. For example, if you are losing the race, steal ballots, falsify results, and blame your opponent for every crime you can think of. If you can’t rig the outcome in your favor, accuse your opponent of doing exactly that. When you are desperate, as the saying goes, sink to desperate levels. For example, you can claim your opponent’s son is a crook, or that your opponent is a pedophile. In that latter situation, you should have photographs doctored so he’s shown hanging around schoolyards with his hands in his pockets. Remember, you have to be creative, and you must never stop accusing your opponent of any shit you can fling that will stick to the wall.

It’s worth noting that nothing works better or more efficiently than a shower of lawsuits, especially when your opponent hasn’t enough time to respond to one before the next one is launched. 

In order to deal with the aftermath of Rule Number 1, you must then employ Rule Number 2, which is simply Lie, Lie, And Lie Again. 

As you can easily see, Rule Number 2 works hand in glove with Rule Number 1. When anyone accuses you of cheating, immediately accuse them of slander. And even if they have proof of your cheating, double down on your denials and once again accuse them of exactly what you were caught doing. Then, of course, threaten to sue.

Next is a ruIe Roy rarely shared in public. He called it his “Ace In The Hole” rule, which is better known here at Game Central as the “Finger In Your Eye” Rule. Quite simply, when anyone seems to be getting the best of you in a deal, political race, negotiation, card game or even a sexual assault accusation, go immediately to Rule Number 3— When In Doubt, Sow Confusion. If it’s a card game, overturn the table and accuse your adversaries of cheating. If it’s a political contest, start pounding the table, shouting out false accusations, and do your best to tear the political environment to shreds. Remember “When you don’t know what to do, Sow Confusion” and you’ll do all right.

Rule Number 4 is a two-parter, as well as an outgrowth of Rules Number One and Two. Never Admit To Your Crime and Never, Never, Never Apologize. If they catch you with your hand in the cookie jar, admit to nothing except conducting a cookie jar inventory. If you have cookie crumbs around your mouth, insist you are being framed. If they catch you actually chewing cookies, deny it adamantly and try not to spit crumbs into anyone’s face as you do.

Rule Number 5 only makes sense when you’re in a position of power or higher leverage; a position not unlike the presidency. Simply put, Rule Number Five requires you to Scare The Living Shit Out Of Your Opponent. And for this exercise, assume everyone in the world is your opponent. Scaring The Living Shit Our Of Your Opponent requires you to throw tantrums, physically intimidate lowly employees, threaten to use force—even nuclear weapons, if you have to—and fire anyone who resists your orders or calls out your bad behavior. 

Roy’s last rule is built on the assumption you are ready to employ Rules Number One through Five. Put in its simplest, raw terminology, Rule Number 6 insists that you Take Whatever You Want. If you want something bad enough, be it real estate, a romantic partner or the presidency of the United States, once you find it isn’t nailed down, locked up or beyond your grasp, take it, and take it for keeps.

And so you have Roy Cohn’s Six Rules For Success. Six rules for winning Grand Theft White House and overcoming any challenge you might face in life, even beating a political opponent who actually accumulates more votes than you. 

If you have any questions, consult with William Barr or Whitey Bulger.


Cover of a German magazine that saw the threat of Donald J. Trump
long before most of us Americans.

I’ve been thinking about this question since Tuesday. That’s when I first discovered almost half the voters in our country not only accepted all the disturbing things Swamp Creature did to our country, but that they approved of them!

Otherwise, I reasoned, how could they vote to give him four more years of unfettered access to the power and majesty of the American presidency.

Yes, they must have approved of the entire Trumpian circus! Putting children into cages, ignoring the threat of a pandemic, looting the U.S. Treasury, paying chump change in personal taxes, extorting friendly countries for political gain, politicizing the Justice Department, inciting violence and hatred, destroying decades-old global friendships and alliances, calling nasty names, serving his Russian master to our disadvantage, destroying constitutional ethics, putting half his family on the government payroll. And lying. Not just lying like a politician, but lying like the most dishonest snake oil salesman that ever graced a carnival sideshow.

“Seriously,” I had to ask myself, “Are we that fucked up?”

It’s a question that refuses to release me from its grip.

As someone who prefers to give people the benefit of the doubt… And as someone with close friends who have fallen for the Trump malarkey, hook, line and stinker, the only thing I can think of, is to compare Trumpism with a fever in the blood. You can’t blame someone for catching a fever, can you? Nor can you take it personally or resent it when the symptoms run riot.

These people—most of whom appear normal and don’t own guns or hate their black neighbors or attempt to run buses off the highway—are, for the most part, absolutely normal. They work at jobs, love their kids and grandkids; and would never think of joining a militia or kidnapping the governor of any state. Not even the governor of Puerto Rico.

I say they’re normal, but they’re not really.

Better to say they were normal, before they caught the virus. Yes, virus, bug, illness or disease—call it what you will, but there’s no denying they’ve caught Trumpism. And similar to those infected with Covid-19, they find themselves at the mercy of the disease and at risk of eventualities too scary to think about. Their lives are not in danger, but their morals, values and sense of humanity are under the gravest threat.

No, they don’t realize it or see what is happening to them. In fact, not realizing you’re ill is one of the symptoms of the disease.

With all my efforts through my blog and heart-to-heart conversations, I have not been able to cure a single one of them (that I know of). Not one of my Trumper friends has suddenly snapped out of their hypnotic state to confusedly question how they got here in the first place.

That doesn’t leave me hating them, or disgusted with myself. Just like with Covid victims, my options are limited. I’m left to pray for them, to leave a place for them in my heart, and to try not to judge them or project Trump’s failings and petty hatreds onto them. Of course, some Trumpers are racists, bullies and psychos, but not all of them; or even the majority.

Unfortunately, this illness is too new for anyone yet to understand it, or to have developed a cure. And polite society will not allow us to lock them up till a cure is found, or to confine them to a hospital ICU. So we are left with the simple challenge to accept them in all their weirdness and obstinacy the same way we would accept a relative with mental illness, down-syndrome, depression or even criminal tendencies…

With love and distrust.

I would recommend a little of the former and a lot of the latter!


“Please do not place automatic weapons on the pew bench.”

Brothers and sister, welcome to the Church of Donald J. Christ! 

Please, sit anywhere and, of course, feel free to remove your face masks. Here in the Church of Donald J. Christ we have nothing to fear from phony illnesses that plague blue-belly states and their demonic populations. 

Also, if your pew is crowded, I will ask you, in the spirit of brotherhood, not to place your automatic weapons on the pew bench next to you. You will find the hymnal holders fit an AK 15 (with shortened stock) quite nicely.

God’s chosen leader here on Earth.

Ah, yes, thank you.

As God-fearing American Christians, I’m certain you know this is the last Sunday before our great national election. In the interests of furthering truth and responsible citizenship, I would like to clear up some of the misinformation surrounding our chosen leader here on earth, God’s son and messenger, Donald J. Christ. 

Can I get an amen!

Yes, thank you, brethren. 

One child’s cage is another child’s 
air-conditioned room.

First lie being spread by the Unchristian Socialists who oppose Donald J. Christ, is that he himself approved the policy of wrenching immigrant children from their mothers’ arms and holding them in cages. A lie so cruel it almost approaches heresy. As Donald J. Christ himself has said many times, these were children of rapists, drug dealers and murderers exclusively. If there is difficulty in reuniting them with their parents, it is because their criminal parents were immediately deported to protect our most vulnerable citizens from being raped, robbed or murdered in their beds.

As for keeping the children in cages, that is not entirely true either, because, as you know, one child’s cage is another child’s air conditioned room. We’ve been reassured that the children are well cared for in living conditions that would be the envy of children back in Mexico who, sadl to say, would be thankful to have a cage of their own.

Can I get a “God bless America!”

What is our Leader thinking? 
Insert your own caption here.

Speaking of caring for children, since last we met, our Leader‘s third  Supreme Court nominee has been voted to a seat on that august body. And now, we are but days away from her casting her vote to nullify Roe vs. Wade and put an end to the widescale murder of unborn children.

Yes, soon an expectant mother will no longer have the right to end God’s most sacred gift to humanity. Not even in cases of rape or incest, if Donald J. Christ has his way.

Can I get a hallelujah!

Oh, you do me so proud, brothers and sisters!

I want to talk directly to the accusations that Donald J. Christ is directly responsible for allowing the Covid-19 virus to enter our shores and grow into an uncontrollable pandemic. Even today, the left-wing socialist media refuses to acknowledge everything our Leader did to contain the spread of the virus. 

Our Leader stopped the Kung Flu before it hit our shores.

Suffice it to say we would have had deaths in the millions had our leader not acted with swift and heroic resolve, shutting down certain key flights from China, ordering the lockdown of all Chinese restaurants, and, most importantly, forbidding Americans to marry or propagate with Chinese citizens. His creation of the Coronavirus Task Force under Vice President Pence has resulted in the complete prevention of rules or dictatorial suggestions that would have interfered with American lifestyles and have most likely eliminated professional sports from our TV screens. Had our Leader not ignored his scientific advisors, we would all be wearing masks today, and keeping six feet distant from each other.

Six feet, do you hear that? You cannot hug your grandchildren from six feet; nor can you enjoy intimate relations with porn stars from six feet’s distance. And tell me how we could jam all of you into our tiny church if we had to enforce six-foot social distancing? 

Virus, what virus?

At this moment, I would like you to turn to your nearest neighbor and give him or her a hug. If they’re wearing a mask, rip it off with a smile, and tell them they’re now free to survive in a covid-free world. If they’re nervous about coming into close contact, just breathe on them slightly to show you have no germs for them to worry about. After all this is the Church of Donald J. Christ and not a hospital ICU ward.

Can I get a Hosanna!


Lastly, I want to refute any suggestion that Donald J. Christ is a pawn or useful idiot of Vladimir Putin; and all rumors that our Leader owes $421 million to Putin, or one of his banks, is as crazy as the idea that the Trump Corporation would charge the U.S. government exorbitant fees to house secret service agents when our Leader visits his resorts for golf and much-needed downtime.

Some of the 23 women who have falsely accused
Donald J. Christ of assault, groping or rape.
Rest assured they are going straight to hell

Lastly, I bid you a personal welcome and blessing from Donald J. Trump who would be here himself if he didn’t prefer to pray on Air Force One with unwed mothers and beauty queen runner-ups, purely to help save their souls, when he is out on the campaign trail. 

Can I get one more amen, and maybe two mothers of mercy!


How could we elect someone whose very instinct is to
destroy what we’ve created over centuries?

How have we come to this?

How has America, once the world’s leader in extending hope, compassion and critical assistance to a world standing beneath our shadow, undergone such a size-mic shift in empathy and generosity?

How could we, the richest nation in the world—in the history of the world!—suddenly view the pain and suffering of others, whether they be Mexican immigrants, Kurdish allies or American Covid-19 casualties, as of little or no concern?

When did we make such a tragic and perverse turn in direction?

As I suspect you already know, it happened when we gave in to America’s worst impulses, its craven fears and our most selfish values. They were buried beneath the surface of the high-minded ideals that have carried us forward from the days of our founders.

It happened when we elected Donald J. Trump as our 45th president.

And it happened because we unknowingly elected THE SMALLEST MAN IN THE WORLD to captain our ship of state and bring us safely through the sudden storms and dangerous waters we would inevitably face. A man unfit for the job both in temperament and character. A man so driven by his own sense of self-importance and self-indulgence, he is unable to see the needs of others, the true functions of government or the importance of our traditional values.

In fact, Donald Trump is unable to see anything except in relation to his own well-being and his puffed-up narcissistic view of Donald J. Trump. If it increases his wealth, it is good. If it weakens his enemy, it is good. If it redounds to his self-created legend, it is beautiful!

In Donald Trump’s mind, better to kill off tens of thousands of Americans than admit his inaction or inept response to a pandemic was in any way his own fault. If Americans had to die to protect his reputation, then they died in a worthy cause. No reason for regret or tears. Anything Donald J. Trump does, or doesn’t do, must be the right thing. 

Conversely, anything left undone by Donald J. Trump, should never have been done in the first place.

Thus the reasoning of THE SMALLEST MAN IN THE WORLD. The man who would pit the power of the government against anyone who would oppose him. The man who would politicize the workings of government so that his friends’ crimes would be forgiven, and his friends’ taxes decreased and his business interests would be the primary beneficiary of his foreign relations.

As Nancy Pelosi said,
“With Trump, all roads lead to Putin.

Nobody is too small to escape his wrath. Not Alexander Vindman, whose career in the military was squashed after he testified against Trump for an extortionary phone call with the president of Ukraine. Not Gretchen Whitmer, Governor of Michigan, who Trump still assails to his followers, even after her thwarted kidnapping. Not the territory of Puerto Rico who, for reasons known only to Trump, has earned his undying enmity. Not Michael Cohen. Not Nancy Pelosi. Not the Democrats. Not Mitt Romney. Not Andrew Cuomo. Not Blue states. Not the United States Post Office.

And not Anthony Fauci whose only real crime was to earn the trust of the American people where Trump could not.

It took us 44 previous presidents to arrive at the man who would tear this nation apart and drag it down, if that’s what it takes to raise himself above the flag. And above us all.

Ironic to think THE SMALLEST MAN IN THE WORLD is so blinded by his narcissism, he believes himself bigger than America.

And by the time he’s done, he just might be right.


To any U.S. Gov’t. employee ordered by Trump, Barr, Pompeo or any of Swamp Creatures’ minions to violate your responsibility to the American people, DON’T DO IT! Civilian employee or military, “Just say “NO!”

You’re in deep shit when you elect a president who would be king!

As he has proven countless times, Trump will do anything, say anything—violate any oath—to win re-election. Had he worked as hard to govern our country these last four years, he might actually deserve reelection. But as someone recently said, “It is what it is.” 

When asked to violate your values, your oath to the Constitution, JUST SAY “NO!”

Most worrisome, the U.S. government has become so politicized that Trump’s high level stooges have shown no hesitation in using their positions of power to disgrace themselves in service to their leader. Whether it’s crippling the post office, mounting a bogus political investigation, hiding the truth about a pandemic, or extorting political favors from Ukraine, the Trump gang is without any moral compass or inhibitions. 

When asked to violate your values, your oath to the Constitution, or your personal commitment to integrity, JUST SAY NO!” 

Make no mistake, it will not be easy. In standing up to these scrubbed-up thugs and sycophants, you’ll be displaying the courage and integrity they so sorely lack. And they will hate you for it. But in taking a stand, as others are doing in increasing numbers, you will help create momentum for a post-election commission to forge a pathway back to jobs abandoned by PRISONERS OF CONSCIENCE in our government. 

It will not be easy standing up to these scrubbed-up thugs and sycophants.

Make no mistake, the Trump gang will be in full panic mode leading up to the election, and they will have no hesitation in enlisting your assistance, even though that would be illegal. You had best be prepared and assume you will be tested. 

And when that time comes…

JUST SAY “NO!” to participating in political actions you will regret all your life.