Author Archives: Paul Steven Stone

TRUMPED, THUMPED AND DUMPED!

There’s a pattern I’ve detected in the behavior of Donald J. Trump, whether as a mega-rich real estate developer, a sex-crazed libertine, or the holder of the highest office in our land. 

As undeniable as his serial bankruptcies, is Trump’s serial tendency to swoop down on a coveted prize, be it a beautiful woman or the presidency of the United States, and take it for his own. No matter what obstacles stand in the way. Once in his possession, the prize is claimed and to the fullest extent possible consumed by Trump to satiate his unquenchable thirst.

Donald gets an eyeful.

With women, Trump uses his charm (amply magnified by the allure of his self-publicized wealth) and his snake-oil sales pitch to wear down or tear down any resistance. When those fail, he is not above using force. Or so say at least 23 women who have accused Trump of everything from peeping tom behavior to groping, rape and sexual assault.

E. Jean Carroll, a New York City journalist, recently recounted her rape by Trump 23 years ago in a Bergdorf Goodman dressing room. Trump’s denial: she wasn’t pretty enough to qualify for his attentions.

E. Jean Caroll wearing the outfit she was wearing when Trump allegedly raped her.

As the final act in his sexual peccadillos, Trump usually dumps his accusers, calls them liars, reviles them, then threatens to sue. 

This pattern of behavior, which I term “Trumped, Thumped and Dumped,” applies as well to his behavior towards the Republican party, though it is still too early to tell how irreparably damaged republicans will be once Trump sucks the marrow from their bones and dumps them. As he certainly will. 

Trump has already bullied the Republicans into abandoning their principles in service to his avarice and self-gratification. Honesty, integrity and fiscal prudence have been thrown out the window. A political party that once stood resolutely against the Russian threat is now reduced to repeating Russian-sourced propaganda, and turning a blind eye to presidential behavior that puts Russia’s interests ahead of ours.

And lastly—frightening as it is—we must look to Trump’s corrosive impact on the United States, once held as democracy’s future and the world’s hope for the weak, the dispossessed and the downtrodden. The pride we once felt as a melting pot nation has been abandoned and reviled. Brown-skinned immigrants are no longer welcome. Nor are Muslims, people with accents, or anyone from Trump-labeled “shithole” countries.

As of mid-October, 2019, 13,435 false or misleading claims.

And what a thumping we are taking. Our electoral system has been violated, our constitution is under relentless assault, our deficit has ballooned to $22.6 trillion, and the leader of our country tells more lies than his Russian puppet-masters. We’ve become a nation divided, a country so committed to the primacy of corporate interests and military excess, we cannot afford to ensure the health or welfare of our people. A second Trump term, with a Republican majority in the Senate, would usher in the biggest assault on Social Security ever seen. Medicare, too!

The only question left to answer is whether the man who promised to make America great again, will dump America before he kills off every trace of its greatness.

A nation divided by Trump.

THAT MAN MUST GO!

THAT MAN MUST GO!

There is no more room for civility or living with the status quo. Too much is at stake, including the survival of our democracy. If you think I’m exaggerating, take a look at what we’ve seen over the last three years.

THAT MAN MUST GO!

Right this moment, there are children being kept in cages, ripped from the bosom of their families as a marker of one man’s cruel intentions. That man is responsible for all of it. Not because he cares about anything beyond his own political fortunes, but because he lives in a benighted world where he is all-powerful and nobody has the right to ignore or disobey his word. 70,000 families have been separated at the border under his uncaring leadership.

THAT MAN MUST GO!

There are reasons why the leaders of the free world are laughing at that man behind his back, and it isn’t because they respect his strength or admire his brilliance. He is a boor and an embarrassment. What else can they do but laugh when confronted with an American President devoid of honesty, compassion or integrity? An American President who consistently turns his back on his allies and identifies more with brutal tyrants than the victims of their tyrannical brutality. An American President whose single favorite topic of conversation is…himself.

THAT MAN MUST GO!

That man is mean, vicious and seemingly without compassion. His charitable foundation was merely another source of income. His work ethic is non-existent, his two greatest companions during the workday being golf and Fox News. His code of honor mirrors that of a thief, measuring personal success in how well he can stiff an honest tradesman, boondoggle the U.S. Treasury or finagle an extra buck from a negotiation when no one is looking. 

THAT MAN MUST GO!

That man has divided our nation, reinvigorated white supremacists, emboldened racists and homegrown nazis. He has been a one-man wrecking crew, defenestrating NATO and tearing apart our relationships with decades-old allies. He has slashed the effort and efficacy of government agencies that protect the health, safety and welfare of the American people. Our intelligence agencies are under constant attack. He has fouled our air and water, toppling regulations meant to protect our environment. Perhaps cruelest and most insensitive of all, his policies enflame a menacing Climate disaster he continues to deny.

THAT MAN MUST GO!

That man is a bully. He has turned the Justice and State Departments into weaponized instruments serving his own personal interests. He has publicly shamed government employees who faithfully serve their country. Ambassadors, soldiers, intelligence officers, honored veterans, senators, representatives, war heroes and gold-star parents—even a 16-year-old climate activist—have all known the sharp cut of his derisive, often ill-informed, cruelty.

THAT MAN MUST GO!

That man lies more than he tells the truth. He can’t accept criticism or direction. He needs to be surrounded with toadies and sycophants; brown-nosers who will move the boundaries of entire states on weather maps just to soothe his ego and avoid his Baby Huey tantrums. If we don’t make him leave, he will betray his oath of office again. Guaranteed. It was only a day after Bob Mueller’s House testimony failed to incriminate him that he was strong-arming the Ukraine’s Zelensky. A single day!

THAT MAN MUST GO!

That man is so small-minded he will never accept responsibility for his own fall. He is too vindictive to resist retaliating against perceived enemies like the impoverished and devastated island of Puerto Rico. He is strangling their recovery efforts, doling out recovery aid in droplets to repay the island’s perceived lack of presidential appreciation and respect.

Anyone need a roll of paper towels?

THAT MAN MUST GO!

If we leave that man in power he will unquestionably find other ways to use his office to help win re-election in 2020. He will reign terror down on anyone perceived as an active participant in his impeachment. He will further destroy the institutions, people and relationships within his sphere of influence. 

Know this if you know nothing else. That man will do anything he can to monetize his presidential power for his own benefit.

That man’s name is Donald J. Trump, the 45th President of the United States.

AND THAT MAN MUST GO!

TRUMP SHOOTS FIFTH AVENUE PEDESTRIAN, REPUBLICANS INSIST “NO CRIME COMMITTED!”

In a bizarre twist on the politics and unpredictability of the Trump Impeachment, Donald J. Trump, 45th President of the United States, yesterday shot and killed a homeless man as he was crossing Fifth Avenue in New York City.

When asked why he chose to shoot a total stranger, President Trump explained, “I was working on reducing homelessness in America. No crime, no collusion, it was a perfect shot.” Trump went on to explain, “Being more brilliant and observant than any previous president, I noticed the impeachment’s Nielsen ratings were starting to sag. As the star of the impeachment drama, and a member of the Screen Actors Guild, I was obligated and uniquely qualified to boost TV ratings whenever and howsoever necessary. I figured the shooting was good for a 30% viewer spike.”

“You want some of this?”

Trump continued, “According to the 2nd amendment of the Constitution, the President cannot be tried for crimes committed in office, not that reducing homelessness is a crime. I just sincerely hope the fellow I shot was a Democrat,” he added, the sound of Trump family laughter rising up around him.

With the congressional impeachment saga running into its third month, and with the House due to vote for impeachment tomorrow, Trump’s latest criminal “outrage”—as the Democrats define it—is just one more obstacle on the long rocky road Republican senators must travel in the days ahead. A road on which they must travel blind, in order not to see (or judge) the president’s myriad crimes and transgressions.

Is this Lindsey Graham’s “Nothing burger with cheese, bacon bits and special sauce?”

Trump’s erstwhile congressional defenders were the first to reject the notion that the shooting would have any impact on the President’s impeachment. Senator Lindsey Graham rejected the idea of Trump’s criminal liability for the shooting, calling it “A nothing-burger with cheese, bacon bits and special sauce,” while Republican House defenders Jim Jordan and Doug Collins refused to accept that a crime had been committed. “How could the President know the gun was loaded?” Jordan asked. “And where was Hunter Biden at the time of the shooting?” 

Republican Senators are expected to ignore all of President Trump’s crimes and misdemeanors in an effort to remain fair and impartial at his trial.  

A Declaration of Interdependence

(a gentle reminder of what America once stood for, and what it appears to have lost today.)

WE THE PEOPLE of the free and independent United States herby declare our interconnectedness and responsibility for one another. Recognizing that we were originally formed as a political unit to throw off the cruelties of a despotic ruler, we re-commit ourselves to those principles which set us apart from nations whose enrichment of their ruling classes have inflicted undue harm upon their populations from time immemorial.

In light of recent activities and political maneuverings by the moneyed classes of our society, we feel the need to once again state those values we believe are embodied or implied in both our nation’s Constitution and Declaration of Independence, namely that…

  • All citizens are entitled to unhindered access to those essentials necessary in a modern society to foster Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, including a healthy diet, safe and affordable housing, an advanced education, an unbiased political system, freedom from fear or repression, and a government committed to the avoidance of war and the pursuit of peace.
  • To secure such essentials, it is necessary to immediately develop and institute such rules of behavior and political jurisprudence that acknowledge and reestablish the equality of all individuals in our society; those actions to include…

-Removing the power and influence of money from all democratic institutions and political activities, understanding that, far from engendering free speech, the unfettered flow of money only allows moneyed interests to drown out the voices of those with lesser wealth or influence;

– Restoring a fair and equitable tax system that recognizes all individuals benefit equally from systems, protections and services provided by our governing bodies, and that more should be expected from those who, because of circumstance or personal effort have a preponderance of a nation’s wealth, while less should be taken from those who have little enough for themselves;

– Restoring equal justice and punishment to those at all levels of our society, so that those who caused economic chaos and destruction in pursuit of their own selfish outcomes, as well as those who unleashed the dogs of war for no good cause, and those who abused public office for personal gain, are given a fair and impartial trial before the eyes of the world, as a lesson to others and a clear indicator of our commitment to the rule of law, even for the most powerful among us;

– Gradually reducing the country’s dependence on, and enthrallment to, the military industrial complex. Recognizing that, as recently evidenced, weak-minded or short-sighted leaders can make unfortunate military decisions that often result in unnecessary death, destruction and the wasteful expenditure of national wealth. Also recognizing that the maintenance of a large global military footprint not only increases the likelihood of America being drawn into war, but significantly reduces those assets available for keeping commitments to citizens at all levels of the socio-economic ladder.

We offer the above Declaration of Interdependence as a road map for our country to begin returning to its rightful path, to once again become a beacon on a hill to other nations, a paragon of virtue among world powers, driven equally by principle and compassion, and untroubled by the internal strife that rules public debate when blind self-interest and self-righteous bravado hold sway.

So offered for consideration this December, 2019, a time when Americans sorely need to reconnect with the underlying principles of our Democracy.

WHY I JOINED THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. A confession from a former liberal.

Is this my personal crossroads?

(F-BOMB ALERT: The following satiric essay contains multiple F-Bombs. Read at your own discretion!) 

After much deliberation, I am making two historic announcements. First off, I proudly announce I am officially, as of today, renouncing my pie-in-the-sky, do-gooder liberal bias, and applying for membership in the fabled ranks of Republican Americanus. Yes, I am joining the Republican Party. I admit to being a Scrooge-like tightwad. I admit to hating everyone under 45, and everyone with less than a million dollars in their portfolio, and of course toto el mundo who weren’t born in the good old United States of America. 

America is for Americans, we Republicans always say, and you’re not really an American if you’re not smart enough to have earned a small fortune. Doesn’t matter how you earned that fortune, but if you made it by swindling old ladies out of their pensions, so much the better! And if you’re looking for a political party that will help you hold onto every penny of that fortune, even if it means having to dismantle social security and medicare, then look no further. You are a born Republican, as I am, and you’re tired of all those lazy and ignorant sons of bitches, like immigrants and convicts, who won’t get a job and who multiply like sex-starved rabbits living off our wealth and largesse. 

Yes, I, Paul Steven Stone, after years of haranguing the Republicans for starting unnecessary wars, torturing enemy prisoners, ignoring the poor and middle class, representing elite and wealthy interests, stifling our liberties, protecting polluters and bugging our phones, I’ve stopped pretending I think more of others than I do of myself. I now proudly admit that I am #1! It’s all about me! My money (my family, my friends…Did I mention my money?) And nobody takes care of ME and MINE like the Republican Party. Which leads to my second announcement…

Today, as we face unprecedented scandals and political divisions (also termed an “era of great opportunity” by our president), I hereby announce my intention of running for Representative from the 11th Congressional District of Massachusetts. Running, of course, as a Republican. That means, I will take any and all contributions from anyone trying to buy influence with me. It means I will immediately tie my hands as a future lawmaker by signing a pledge that will force me to vote against any measure that might raise tax revenues. Even if America badly needs them!

Just know that I will never disappoint you. I will be your voice, your conscience, and your balls…all in one! As your Republican representative, I will say “Fuck you!” to old people, poor people, immigrants and minorities with every vote I take. I will say “Fuck you!” to any government program that aids or assists those less fortunate than yourself. Especially any program that cleans up the environment. I will say “Fuck You!” to anyone who thinks our government exists to serve people over corporate interests. Just listen for the echo of every vote I take as your Republican representative, “Fuck You!” “Fuck You!” “Fuck You!”

And then there’s the biggest “Fuck You!” of all: my vote against impeaching President Trump. Only a Republican could justify voting for someone who willingly, with no thought or conscience, placed our entire democratic system at peril! Just to get the goods on Joe Biden!

Only a Republican would have the balls to tell the entire country that the words they read, and heard over and over—words documenting Trump’s phone call—said exactly the opposite of what people thought they heard or read.

Just think of all the fun I’ll have in Congress as a Republican…!  I’ll get to obfuscate my anti-climate voting record. I’ll get to pretend that dismantling social security will be an improvement to the way things are now. 

As your Republican representative, I will say “Fuck you!” to old people, poor people, immigrants and minorities with every vote I take.

Not only that, I’ll get to spend desperately-needed funds on building a wall, or rebuilding a nuclear arsenal. And even though I possess no scientific understanding or basis of knowledge to refute scientifically-proven-and-accepted realities, I will get to belittle science and fuck the environment with every vote I take. 

How much fun is that!

I will also get to argue against increasing taxes on ridiculously wealthy people; arguing that it would only discourage the creation of jobs.

I love that one! Like a billionaire is going to cut back on making more billions because his government asked him to pay his fair share of taxes! Right! What the hell does taxing wealthy people have to do with creating jobs? Are billionaires holding back on creating new jobs out of spite? If they are, that’s pretty pissy of them!

Enough of this stupidity. Forget all logic, put your own vested interests aside, ignore the fact I will only represent your interests half-heartedly, most of my attention going to the needs of the 1%, and vote for Paul Steven Stone (Republican) as your next Congressman. It’s time to bring back amoral, conscienceless, selfish, right-wing sense to the Massachusetts political landscape. Remember, it’s not what your country can do for its people that counts, it’s what your country can do for YOU. 

Thank you and God Bless The United States of America!

Please, God!