Swamp Creature, Melania, Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell
Yesterday I looked around and realized there was only beauty and happiness in the world. Everybody had a home, two Mercedes and a signed Christmas card from Donald and Melania Trump.
Yesterday I looked around and realized I didn’t have to wait to go to heaven.
This is for all the lovely people, This is for those with the Midas Touch, This is for all the ones Who never leave Till they have too much, I love all the lovely people.
Yesterday I looked around and realized there was no hunger in the world, and that poverty only existed in old newsreels and fiction. Everybody had quiche for breakfast and American Express for emergencies.
Yesterday I looked around and realized I was no longer just a man. I was a member of a club, and membership had its privileges.
This is for all the lovely people, This is for summers at the shore, This is for Donald Trump Who never stops Working at the pump, God bless all the lovely people.
Yesterday I looked around and realized there was nobody in the world that needed my help. Everybody had more than enough love and every child knew just what they wanted for Christmas.
Yesterday I looked around and realized there was no reason to wait for the second coming. It couldn’t get any better than this.
This is for all the lovely people, This is for People Magazine, This is for all the ones Whose private jets Are kept shiny and clean, God loves all the lovely people.
Yesterday I looked around and realized there was nothing I had to do for anybody. Everybody had gotten exactly what they deserved from life and only deserved to get more.
Yesterday I looked around and realized I was the center of the universe. Oh, why did I wait so long to join the Republican Party?
Folks in these parts recall how this damn nasty swamp you see in front of you was once a modern Capital City, name of Washington, D.C. Then, of course, as the legend goes, Swamp Creature moved into the environs and quick as a jumping frog on a hot stove started draining the swamp, as he repeatedly promised, to get himself elected President of These United States.
‘Course Swamp Creature never exactly mentioned which swamp he’d be draining and to where he’d be releasing the stinking, toxic swamp effluence. As it later turned out, he was talking about draining the swamp filled from his business dealings back in New York City, which contained all the swampy murkiness of Swamp Creature’s previous questionable dealings; like his improper bank loans, his bogus charity; his questionable real estate transactions; his unprovoked acts of sexual aggression. And, of course, his falsified tax filings and other mob-like shenanigans.
Truth is, when you drain one swamp, reason dictates, somewhere there’s a swamp getting swampier from the draining. In this case, the locale of that swampier swamp was that aforesaid Capital City mentioned above.
But anyone who believes bringing in Swamp Creature to drain a swamp will result in anything ‘cept more swampiness deserves to spend two hours at lunch with Mitch McConnell. You remember Mitch, if only from remembering the one kid in grade school you wanted to punch in the face; the kid you could always count on to snitch on everyone else in class. Mitch was only one of the many swamp denizens enlisted by Swamp Creature to do his bidding and to help transform the capital city into a nightmarish City of Swamp.
Nobody, least of all the citizens of Capital City, expected Swamp Creature to so quickly transmogrify normal, rule-of-law Republicans like Mitch McConnell, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Lindsey Graham into soulless, lying and cheating, ass-kissing Swamp Creature sycophants. But he did, and without raising a sweat.
Swamp Creature’s other top henchmen included Billy “The Kid” Barr, enlisted to shoot up and tear down the once proud Department of Justice; Mike Pence, particularly effective as “The Smiling Stooge” who immediately gave Swamp Creature the patina of Republican respectability he needed after his Russian-assisted election victory. And then there was Mike “The Ass Kisser” Pompeo who would sacrifice his own children, as well as the entire Department of State, on the altar of Swamp Creature’s thirst for a second elected term.
A second elected term, legend has it, in which Swamp Creature could finish draining the United States Treasury to pay for all his Florida golf expeditions. And to complete the job of desecrating all the familiar landmarks and traditions that once made the Capital City a beacon on a hill for the planet’s meek, humble and poor.
And, as legend declares, a second term to finish the task Vladimir Putin had set for him before his first term…the destruction of American democracy and America’s network of Western allies who once, in the time before Swamp Creature moved to Capital City, stood together like a solid wall as a bulwark against Russian aggression.
Swamp Creature loves walls.
But not that one.
This is a reissue of a past blog post that was mysteriously taken down.
