THE CORONATION OF DONALD J. TRUMP

The King of Buffoons

THERE ARE STRANGE DEEDS RECORDED

About the men who toil For Gold

In the halls of Washington D.C.

Where honor is twice daily sold;

But the strangest sight I ever did see

Was the day folks stormed the house of liberty

To resurrect the man voters had dumped

And to crown the head of Donald J. Trump

NOW, DONALD J. TRUMP

Hailed from New York City,

Where the buildings they say 

Grow tall and quite pretty

Why he left the Big Apple, 

No one could say 

‘Cept he needed more suckers, 

And more games to play.

So he dialed up the Russians, 

And the boss they called Vlad,

And he promised his soul 

For any dirt on Hillary they had.

ON A COLD DAY IN HELL,

Or maybe it was in January

Donald J. Trump was sworn in

And handed the US presidency. 

His first words were lies, 

With the bIble under his hand,

He swore to protect the Constitution 

And the laws of this great land.

He never mentioned the exception 

That was echoing in his mind:

“Unless it serves my interests, 

Then I’ll pay them no more mind.”

THAT WAS THE FIRST OF MANY LIES

Donald J. Trump told on a daily basis

Never mattering to him at all 

If facts were true or totally baseless

He recruited Fox News

Home of soulless media hacks

To echo his falsehoods daily

And cover over his criminal tracks

No matter what lies he told or what

Their immediate impacts might be

Murdoch and sons would parrot them 

And claim real news legitimacy.

IN THE END, NOW, WHO CAN SAY

Whose interests were better served

By Donald J. Trump’s desecration 

of the U.S. presidency?

Never has one president

So bankrupted treasury and soul

Turning neighbor against neighbor,

Forcing allies to depart the fold.

Was this the payment Vlad required

To help Donald J. Trump win his race?

Is this why American excellence 

Briefly expired without a trace?

IN ONE SHORT TERM

What accomplishments 

behind him he had trailed!

A packed Supreme Court, two impeachments and hundreds of insurrectionists jailed.

An empty treasury, one failed insurrection

And a lifetime of litigation

For the DOJ’s retrospection.

His was the first American Coup

But maybe not the last

It depends on whether his run is through

Or whether his grift runs out of gas.

YES, STRANGE DEEDS ARE RECORDED

About the men who toil For Gold

In the halls of Washington D.C.

Where honor is twice daily sold;

But the strangest deed that was never to be

Was the crowning of the Man Who Lives in Infamy

Down through the ages his story will be known,

Treachery will be his legacy, 

And treason his thorny crown.

FLY THE UNFRIENDLY SKIES

Neither dark of night nor fork of tongue can delay our mission.

“Good morning, folks. Or should I say “Buenas Dias, amigos!” And welcome to Republican Airlines, Where WE Always Decide Your Final Destination.

“This is Governor Ron DeSantis, your captain, and this is flight # 0106, a one-way flight with stops in San Antonio, Chicago, New York City, Washington, D.C. and one unknown airport to be named at a later date. 

Good news, pasajeros, we expect smooth flying weather today, with perhaps a little bumpiness around our nation’s capitol. Twice in recent weeks, Washington has scrambled F-16’s in a spendthrift waste of taxpayer’s money on the slim chance that this Republican Airlines jet were part of—now get this!—an insurrection! As if the Republican tourists who toured the capitol on January 6th were anything but an unruly crowd of tourists and sightseers.

“Before we take off, Republican Airlines regulations require me to ask if any of our customers are gay or transexual, even if you no longer identify as such, and to politely ask you to get the f@ck off my plane. I am authorized to offer a guaranteed high-paying job and luxury residence in their new sanctuary city, to anyone reporting any gays or transexuals who refuse to leave and still remain in their seats.

“Estimated time to disembarkation at Chicago’s O’Hare airport is somewhere between two to three, three-and-a-half hours. The exact time depends on whether O’Hare officials force us to wait for an open terminal dock or allow us to dump departing passengers on the tarmac. Also—if I’m honest—it depends on whether we’re allowed to unload passengers without fully stopping. 

“So sit back and enjoy your flight. Please clear the aisle so Flight Steward and Texas Governor Greg Abbott can wheel himself down to pass out sour grapes and water bottles. I’m proud to say our water is bottled exclusively for Republican Airlines in Jackson, Mississippi.

In addition to sour grapes,  Governor Abbott will be handing out coloring maps of the United States of America, the greatest country on earth. These maps are our gift to you. Use them to find your way around your new sanctuary city. Each home state is clearly marked, though cities, regrettably, are not. If you ask him politely, Governor Abbott also has a limited number of crayon stubs for those whose ninos have learned to color.

We thank you for flying Republican Airlines, Where There Is Always A Reason For Treason, Always An Excuse To Do The Wrong Thing!

REPUBLICAN SENATOR PROMOTES VOTING RIGHTS FOR FETUSES

WASHINGTON, DC. Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (R-S.C.) explains his bill to extend voting rights to fetuses.

WASHINGTON, D.C. Just when you thought Republican politics could get no wackier, along comes Lindsey Graham, Senior Clown of the Republican Senate caucus and Supremo Ass-Kisser to Donald Trump’s nether regions. 

Senator Graham first offered a bill yesterday proposing a nationwide abortion ban that stunned political pundits in its gross insensitivity to the political winds currently sweeping across the nation. Senator Graham refused to blink at the uproar his proposed bill inspired, doubling-down instead with a follow-up bill calling for fetuses not only to be considered human beings at the moment of conception, but to be granted all rights of citizenship, including the right to vote, marry and pay taxes. 

“I know there are certain difficult issues my bill raises,” Senator Graham admitted, “like the age most states require for anyone to vote or get a marriage license. But I’m confident that reasonable politicians working hand in glove with ex-President Trump and the Supreme Court, can find solutions to even the most difficult and illogical problems.”

When asked what he would do if his new bills failed to gain enough support to be presented before Congress, Senator Graham indicated he had one more arrow in his anti-abortion quiver.

“It’s a bill to declare that Life begins at the first moment of desire, or sexual stimulation, on the part of any potential parent.” 

Graham went on to explain, “It means essentially that life begins with the first tingle.”

IN SEARCH OF TREASURE ISLAND

(Please note: this essay was written at a time when ‘man’ and ‘mankind’ were still being used to encompass both genders.)

There’s a ship I’ll never sail

Bound for an island I’ll never find.

       There’s a ship I’ll never sail. I saw it long ago. Or dreamed that I did. She runs free under a wind that blows warm and gentle and always steady. There are no lines to hold this ship to land. And no port lays claim to any of the men who climb her rigging in search of new horizons.

       There’s a ship I’ll never sail. Where men are men, and dreams are only an island away.

There’s a ship I’ll never sail

Bound for an island I’ll never find.

On board is the child I never was

And the man I never became.

       There’s a child I never was. I knew him long ago. Or dreamed that I did. He never slowed down to doubt himself or worry about the future. He lived for the moment, and for laughter and friendship. And always dreamed of sailing off one day in search of pirates and buried treasure.

       He grew into the man I never became. And sailed off one day in search of his dreams. Never learning, as I did, that Time is a pirate who buries dreams as if they were treasure.

There’s a ship I’ll never sail

Bound for an island I’ll never find.

On board is the child I never was

And the man I never became.

Their eyes are fixed on a horizon

That never draws closer.

And just beyond lies an island,

Which like the book I’ll never write

Reveals the love I’ll never know.

       There’s a book I’ll never write. I saw it long ago. Or dreamed that I did. It explains everything: all the suffering, the longing, the hopes that echo in the darkness under the stars. In this book, no man lies to another, no person cheats on the love he owes, or tries to take more than his share. And on the last page, etched in gold, is a map that reveals the location of the island, and the treasure it contains.

       There’s a book I’ll never write. I saw it long ago. In a pilot’s cabin. On a ship running free.

       On a ship I’ll never sail.

AMERICA’S TREASON TWINS

America’s Treason Twins: (Above: John Brown, below: Donald J. Trump)

HE WAS CHARGED WITH TREASON.

HE WAS CHARGED WITH MURDER.

HIS FOLLOWERS ATTACKED A U.S. GOVERNMENT FACILITY.

HE WAS CHARGED WITH LEADING AN INSURRECTION.

HE WAS FOUND GUILTY.

33 DAYS LATER, HE WAS HANGED.

JOHN BROWN did not conspire to overthrow the government of the United States; DONALD J. TRUMP’s multi-pronged conspiracy attempted to overturn the results of a free and fair election, and thus overthrow America’s duly elected government.

JOHN BROWN did not launch baseless attacks against election results in a single state; DONALD J. TRUMP’s false electors scheme attempted to nullify fairly recorded and certified votes in seven states.

JOHN BROWN’s rebellion was launched to free slaves and end slavery in the United States. DONALD J. TRUMP’s rebellion was launched to hold onto power and install himself as president for a second term.

JOHN BROWN was found guilty, and hanged for his crimes 33 days after the verdict.

DONALD J. TRUMP has yet to be tried, and is still allowed his freedom from which he continues to spread malicious lies and propaganda, fomenting violence and political malfeasance.

JOHN BROWN’s body (as the poem goes) lies a-mouldering in his grave, no longer a threat to anyone.

DONALD J. TRUMP’s lies are alive and still free to corrupt, corrode and threaten our democracy.