It’s Time To Play “OBFUSCATION!”

Here it is, boys and girls. And just in time for the holidays. “OBFUSCATION!!” The game that takes the art of conversation and turns it into a political cat-and-mouse game.

Whether you play the INQUISITOR or the REPUBLICAN, “OBFUSCATION!” will forever challenge your notion of what it means to tell the truth. Especially when you belong to a political party tasked with selling your collective souls to defend Donald Trump against an impeachment he fully deserves.

INQUISITOR: Okay, to start: At which hotel did Rudy Giuliani and his two Soviet henchmen stay when visiting Kiev?

REPUBLICAN: The Hotel Perfidy, where Joe Biden and his son Hunter always stay…when hiding out in Kiev.

INQUISITOR: How can Donald Trump deny there was a quid pro quo when his own transcript has him shaking down Zelensky on the phone call?

REPUBLICAN: There is no quid pro quo on the phone call. Your eyes, ears, or maybe your political inclinations, betray you. The bribe, if you want to call it that, was never consummated. Zelensky never actually announced the investigations. No quid pro quo when you ain’t got the quo, bro. 


“OBFUSCATION:” A Game For Republicans
In The Era of Trump

INQUISITOR:  We’ve just gone through two weeks of witnesses testifying about Trump and Giuliani’s shadow foreign policy. Do we know yet why that Ukrainian oligarch paid Rudy $500,000?

REPUBLICAN: I believe that was a one-time payment for Rudy helping the oligarch reset his iPhone. 

INQUISITOR: Are you aware that Donald Trump claimed no prior acquaintance with either Lev Parnas or Igor Fruman, Mr. Giuliani’s arrested associates, even though both appear in numerous photographs with Mr. Trump? 

Such as this one at the circumcision, or briss, of Mr. Parnas’ first-born son?

REPUBLICAN: And who is that next to the president in the photo?

INQUISITOR: That’s the blade man himself, the circumciser, who within the tribe is called a moyel.  

REPUBLICAN: No matter; the president takes pictures with thousands of people. Many of whom he does not know. That could be from any of a hundred brisses the president attends in a month.

INQUISITOR: Okee-dokee, have it your way. For the rest of us… It’s time to play, DOUBLE OBFUSCATION! That’s the speed dial version of our game in which the Republican gets lightning-fast questions and no time to think about his response, which must be in the form of a question. Are you ready?

REPUBLICAN: Was that your first question?

INQUISITOR: Ohh, very good. You’re a genuine smart ass, aintcha? And my real first question is: Gordan Sondland?

REPUBLICAN: Which totally inexperienced millionaire diplomat was appointed Ambassador to the European Union, with immediate membership in the legendary Three Amigos of many fanciful Ukraine adventures? 

INQUISITOR: Second question: The amount of military aid Trump withheld from Ukraine?

REPUBLICAN: Aha! Trick question! Ukraine ultimately received its military aid, therefore my answer must be…Which country’s totally withheld military aid equals Zero?

INQUISITOR: If a poll came out showing a majority of Americans favor impeaching and removing the president, what would you say?

REPUBLICAN: Fake news?

INQUISITOR: And if I tell you the president definitely committed an impeachable offense, what would you say?

REPUBLICAN: Impeachable offence? For what? For threatening to withhold critical military supplies to a country at war with Russia? For putting an entire country—and the national security of the United States of America—at risk? For his own personal gain? What’s impeachable about that?

INQUISITOR: And if you saw the president shooting someone on Fifth Avenue, what would you say?

REPUBLICAN: It was an accident. I mean, how could he know the gun was loaded?

THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN LEAF.

Results from one of the largest indivdual scientific studies ever conducted.

NOTE: The following is an excerpt from Paul Steven Stone’s acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize in Occult Home Sciences.

“Honored Dignitaries and Members of the Swedish Academy:

“Much has been written about the drop pattern of the American Leaf (see Stern’s “Up To My Sternum in Autumn,” Windblown Press, 2003) but prior to my research it was firmly believed Leafus Americanus fell but once a season.

“Today of course, we know each leaf falls not once but on many occasions. Repeatedly, in fact, as I was able to prove. Ironically, it was a casual remark by my lovely lab assistant (who was not yet my wife) that ultimately led the way to my breakthrough discovery. She was lying on the living room couch, if I recall rightly, examining the leaf-raking oval blisters on both her lovely palms. Upon my suggestion that she return to our yard and continue raking leaves, she replied, “You should live so long. I’ll wait till after they refall.”

“Refall?” I said to myself. “Refall?” The word echoed and re-echoed through my mind. “Was it possible?” I asked myself. “Could leaves actually fall more than once?”

“Within minutes I organized a press gang of laboratory assistants (my three children) and together we began the torturous process of gathering and marking all the remaining leaves in our yard with my name. Afterwards, leaving my assistants to dispose of the test specimens in the woods behind our house, I went inside to pursue a parallel investigation I’d been conducting on the National Football League.

“The first returns on our efforts were quite dispiriting. Although a voluminous colony of leaves did reappear on my property, and the trees above remained as starkly bare of their leaves as before, none of the new arrivals bore any of our test markings. Chagrined, I went into the woods and measured the piles of our marked specimens, discovering to my surprise they had diminished quite dramatically in height.

“Here then was a double mystery. Not only could I not account for the new leaves on my lawn, I was at a loss to explain the apparent disappearance of many of my test subjects.

Leafus Americanus

“A week later both mysteries were solved with a single phone call, the first of many I would later receive.

“You Paul Steven Stone?” the caller asked; he appeared to be breathing heavily and short of breath, which produced a most ominous sounding intake and release of air. Assured that I was indeed Paul Steven Stone, he began displaying a limited vocabulary of expletives, most of which he was forced to repeat once or twice in the length of that brief phone call. He ended the call with terse suggestions as to what I might do with all the leaves I had dumped upon his property.

“At last the breakthrough I had been seeking! And it was more startling than I could ever have hoped. For not only had my leaves fallen again, as my wife (or lab assistant, if you wish) suggested they might, but they had actually travelled two and a half miles to do so. Later phone calls confirmed my discovery, also revealing migratory patterns that ranged as far away as six miles from the test site. The threats and foul language I endured from my callers, however, were far more limited in their range, a sad testimony to the failings of our current educational system.

“You’ll be pleased to hear my research continues, and before long I expect to publish preliminary findings that will cause all of us to reassess our beliefs about the sex life of Leafus Americanus.

“All I can say at present is that the little fellow is surprisingly promiscuous.”

TAKE ONE TRUMP DAILY

Astral Lunacy Labs introduces Trump, the heartache accelerant most prescribed by Russian doctors. When taken as a daily dose either through the eyes and ears, or as a suppository, Trump is an effective means to create seismic fissures within America while accelerating its decline into right-wing, conservative dominance.

In a doctor-supervised research study, Trump was proven to quickly absorb all excess government funds—even those not necessarily deemed excess—to be quickly deposited into a Trump-owned bank account. As well as the money normally spent by those government departments put out of business by Rudy Giuliani and his Soviet mafia.

Do not take Trump if you are allergic to loud, insufferable, rich boy bullies. All blacks, Hispanics, and citizens from shithole countries should be especially careful when taking Trump as you will increase your likelihood of abject discrimination, sub-standard government service, forced separation from your children, or even deportation (on a day when Melania isn’t watching).

Stop taking Trump immediately if you find yourself afraid to pick up your daily paper. You may need psychological help if you’ve taken Trump in extra large dosages, or if you work in the State Department, as your head might seriously explode.  

Please note: Trump will no longer be available in Ukraine.

A WORLD WITHOUT HONOR OR SHAME

A few gems from a killer cabinet!

Let me start with a shocking statement: I feel bad for Trump and his gang of Republican sycophants. 

As one who believes in the Law of Karma, I need not worry about justice or some form of final accounting. It will come in its own good time. Trump and Crew will get theirs. In what form, I cannot say. But I do know for every misdeed, obfuscation and outright lie these characters perpetrate there will be a debt incurred and a payment later extracted.

To be honest, most of the time I have no feelings about these self-justifying miscreants other than anger, outrage and frustration. But every once in a while I wonder about the damage they are doing to their souls…? 

The Old White Men’s Club.

To their immortal souls?

That’s when I feel bad for them. Perhaps they should know better, or care more; but perhaps they’re just too blinded by the brilliance of their brief moment in the national spotlight to see beyond the immediate stakes of political win-or-loss.

Too blinded, sad to say, to see that the world they are shaping for themselves is a world without honor or shame. 

“…most likely an individual who was polite and courteous, with a certain level of personal respect, someone deftly shaped by a system penetrated to its core by honor and integrity.”

If you’ve ever had the good fortune to speak with an American soldier, at any grade level, most likely you found an individual who was polite and courteous, with a certain degree of self- respect, someone deftly shaped by a system penetrated to its core by honor and integrity. A system that would reject each and every moral dwarf who defends this indefensible thuggish president. A president unworthy of the title—and certainly unworthy of their loyalty—whose own political ambitions were so over-riding they subsumed the safety and welfare of an entire nation. 

I was surprised when former Senator Jeff Flake from Arizona used the phrase, “There is still time to save your souls,” in warning his fellow Republicans there was more at stake than political maneuverings. Each Trump apologist—and they are all Republicans—must live with telling lies on a daily basis. As soldiers in a criminal enterprise, they’ve signed on to spread falsehoods—or gaslight any fact that speaks against their unstable overlord. 

The Dissembler-In-Chief and one of his trusted Republican enablers.

Gaslighting. A frontal assault on the reality we all perceive. An attempt by Trump’s minions to build a wall of lies as the facts quickly mount up.

I sometimes find myself wondering, “How do they go home and face their children? How do they continue to raise those children with Judeo-Christian values when they have sullied and bruised those values every day on national TV?”

In a world without honor or shame, there are no blinking lights or hazard signs to warn Trump and his Republican enablers of the dangers they face down the road.

Where a deepening darkness is the only sign their souls are waiting for them.

WE CAN OUTFOX GOEBBELS AND GANG

Boycott Fox news!

America is in crisis. Our government no longer belongs to us. It has been taken captive by a coterie of liars and jackanapes led by the biggest liar, scoundrel and buffoon America has ever voted onto its national stage. A scoundrel most likely ushered into office by Russian agents and given full cover for his transgressions by—you know it without me saying so—FOX NEWS.

At the very moment we need to come together as a nation; when everything we’ve built and stood for in the 75 years since World War 2 is in danger of being torn apart and trashed underfoot, FOX NEWS spews out lies and heavily-slanted news to assist those who are destroying the values on which this country was founded. 

Boycott Fox Sports!

Under Fox’s unfair and imbalanced reporting, the president is not being impeached for holding back military aid to Ukraine to coerce their help against a political rival. Rather, under Fox’s impaired vision and slanted voice, Trump is a hero under attack. Impeachment is not a constitutional imperative for such a self-serving abuse of power, but rather an attempted coup by the Democrats. And under their non-stop barrage of lies, misinformation and extreme opinions, FOX NEWS is following a pattern first set forth by Nazi Propaganda Minister Joseph Goebbels. “Lie big, lie often, and lie like it’s the truth.” 

Until the lie becomes the truth.

Incendiary, misinformed and nobody’s friend except Trump’s.

And now we’ve come to a crossroads. With President Trump caught red-handed trying to bully and extort Ukraine against the national security interests of the United States, we are set on a course that threatens to tear the country apart. No longer can we afford to let FOX NEWS spread its lies and prop up this monstrous mistake in the White House. Nor to provide a platform for those who would lie in Trump’s defense or profit by his continued grip on our government.

Boycott 20th Century Fox movies!

To break the hold FOX NEWS has secured on a vast segment of Americans, we need to hit them where it hurts, on their bottom line. It serves Rupert Murdoch’s financial interests to continually stir up the hornet’s nest, to incite anger and unrest, to create enmity between political factions and segments of American society. 

Well, to hell with that. And to hell with them!

If we are to heal our divided nation, we need to shut off the spigot of lies flowing from FOX NEWS. 

Since most of us never watch FOX NEWS for the very reasons mentioned above, we can’t threaten to boycott the station. But we can BOYCOTT all FOX communication outlets. That means BOYCOTTING FOX Sports, BOYCOTTING FOX TV, and BOYCOTTING 20th Century Fox movies. If that doesn’t work, we can later add The World Street Journal and every other newspaper owned by the Murdochs.

Yes, even the NFL on Fox!
Boycott them all!

For this FOX BOYCOTT to work, FOX Corporation in all its highly successful embodiments must be treated like the outlier, menace and troublemaker FOX NEWS itself has become. 

To save our country and help restore its honor and decency, BOYCOTT FOX in all its forms.

I’m starting today. What about you?

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